The slow- moving Blurrium Inelegans is both homogenous and bio-diversal.
Scientists have gained a rare glimpse into the politico-economic life of this mysterious shallow-thinking biped with a persuasive left to right locomotion
The study is published in the Royal Society Journal of Fiscal Chicanery
The researchers looked at video footage taken over 13 years by The Pontificatum Agency : the motto:
“ Bugger Old Labour Lefties – Operate Conservatively – Kill Socialism” (BOLLOCKS)
Most of which was recorded in a study “ In Ten dOwning Street “
The species that was observed is Big Cheese, a four-tentacled beast that measures about 180cm-long (6ft) with impressive hook-shaped teeth and a pronounced deferential gaze
Until recently, little was known about this creature’s religious life,
But now it has been observed slithering through the dark recesses of that most ignoble of institutions – The Catholicum Romanorum.
Consideration is being given at the moment to reclassifying its Taxonomy
and for it to be known as Blurrium Pontificantis Inelegans
As regards it’s Vita Sexualis –
Apart from the fact that the male uses a long, penis-like organ to deposit large sums of money in the Vaulta Vaticoris, the study suggests that there is a possible colleration between the deposition of large Fiscal Bundles and it’s attainment of religious ecstasy
Complex structures containing millions of Uroz are given to the female, which are then absorbed into her Off-shore accounts
By studying footage of this off-set-eyed convert, researchers were able to find out much more.
“Going through hours of video, we found that both the male and its partner (of disputed gender) have been observed dragging heavy sacks of Uroz to and from black-cassocked , hooded Silent Guardians
The sacks can be seen as ways to excite the female to perform on her dorsum .
“As the locations of the Uro packages were similar in both sexes, we concluded that males mate with males and females with females
This unusual behaviour, they said, may reduce its chances of successfully passing on its genes in the challenging environment in which it thrives
In the Royal Society paper the team writes: “In the deep, dark habitat where dwells BPI, potential mates are few and far between. We suggest that same-sex mating behaviour by BPI is part of a repro – strategy that maximises success by inducing males to indiscriminately and swiftly absorb everything fiscal that they encounter.”
Following the study, the researchers now hope to use genetic techniques to determine the source of the fiscal packages, and link other associates of this creature – all trying to deposit Uroz in various locations –
Off-shore havens, Switzerland, the Vatican City; Stocks and Shares; Property Portfolios; Hedge Funds; presenting “Investment Opportunities” with an insistence that there are absolutely no Banking Irregularities.
Both the male and the female are very astute, with sharp legal minds; thus, legally and professionally ,fully capable of maximising their Intake